So inspired… Cause a writer’s gotta write…
That moment when you’re standing in your kitchen and bust out in TEARS because in this holiday season you are just so grateful for everything…
And you think to yourself… my lights may be flashing, I may want a motorcycle, my credit card bills may need to be paid off… but I still have so much.
Today, it’s Christmas Eve… and it’s just me. In my kitchen listening to my Fave Christmas Songs playlist and bust into actual tears because my heart is filled with so much GRATEFULNESS! It’s a combination of LOVE of self and appreciation for all that I have and have accomplished… despite what the world tells me I should have accomplished. In this moment… at this time… I have all I need… and in this moment… I couldn’t be more grateful for EVERYTHING!
Lets’s face it… I am truly B-L-E-S-S-E-D. And, I’d be a fool not to recognize it. See, today has been a long day. I woke up today (a Saturday) at 8am after a night of “turning up” to handle some of my landlord duties. Lemme set the stage…
I was expecting a super handy friend of mine to stop by to help me with the heat pipes banging around the house which was SUPER annoying. Thank you JESUS, he showed up the issues seem to have been resolved. I have a pot of turkey bones on the stove because its tradition for me to turn my turkey into a soup. And, my hair is natural again because someone was gracious enough to cut that dang-nab-it crochet weave out of my hair. Although all of these things mean more work for me in the long run, I am just super grateful that things have been accomplished today… and I didn’t have to spend any money on it. To add to it, I check the Facebook and I get a shout out for helping someone else today… all in the midst of someone helping me… #GRATEFUL
But the word GRATEFUL doesn’t even begin to describe how GRATEFUL I am. I mean like… really… Rashia… you’ve done this… like… lived this life on your own… You mean to tell me… you have maintained this house (taxes and all) for 10 (count’em 10) years… by yo‘damn-self… and in 2017 you will be 40. (yes count’em… 40 years wiser in 2017 and looking forward to it).
(I just grabbed the box of tissues because I can’t hold back the TEARS) (Eewww… and it’s the ugly cry too) #dontjudgeme
You see… there’s a laundry list of things I want… but there is a super abundant list of things I have and have accomplished. And for that… I can’t be mad, but what I can say is… Thank you JESUS, and of course, thank you MOM. Hey… let’s give it up for my mom (round of applause please). You put your whole life into a baby girl. Little did you know that someone would one day don me with the title “The World’s Most Precious Gift” (no I didn’t make it up myself), or as some say at my job say… The WMPG (it’s even been suggested I add it to my business cards) (and yes, I’m considering it for the reprint). We’ve never talked about why, but if you ask me… and most people that know me… MOM… it was all worth it and you did an AWESOME job!!! You have raised an amazing little person that has turned into an AWESOME adult (if I do say so myself). But seriously, my foundation is everything, and that… my mom has given me. I respect tradition, I love family, and although I believe in self-sufficiency, I understand the need for outside help. You see… I watched my MOM growing up, single-mom, two jobs, but still making sure I had the best of everything as best she could. And I just don’t mean things, but she gave me a life and that all so important foundation. A life that taught me that I could do and be anything. A life that exposed me to new experiences and new ways of thinking way before I could become so set in any one way. (Can I say… Guns n’ Roses) MOM… you had a vision for your child and you never stopped doing everything you had to do to manifest that vision. But let me say… it was the day you agreed with my vision (surprise) to go to Stevens Institute of Technology that changed the course of my life forever. It’s funny because you had a vision for a different school, which I went to for two years, but it was at Stevens where I learned how to step up to the plate, speak for myself, and go super hard for what I wanted. I learned that people aren’t just going to give me things but I must get up and go get it.
(I recall getting myself into the STEP program which the “ethnic” students were typically admitted through, but not me. When I realized all the “ethnics” were in the program, there was no way y’all not gonna let me in… I still get emails from STEP to this day!) (And my graduation story will forever be on LOCK… check it… #motherhaslived)
That said, 2017 is upon us, and I have a list of things I want to do… motorcycle, more writing, and paying those dreadful credit card bills, to name a few. Oh wait… let me not forget… maintaining this physique… cause they say that 40 is when things start to change. (I’m all over this one!) I’ve learned that the best thing I can do is… ME, cause no one else can do it for me. And if they tried, it just probably wouldn’t be right. So that’s what I do and will continue. I will continue going hard for the things I want, but I will also continue having FUN in the process (cause you know… FUN is my thing!) I would like to spend more time with my family and friends in 2017 and I want to ride my motorcycle to NC so a dear friend’s brother can redo the tattoo on my foot. I’ve also decided to have a serious talk with myself about whether or not I want to be in a relationship and what a relationship looks like to me. And, (and this is the big one) I’ve decided it’s time to start looking for my ‘big girl’ house. No intentions of buying in 2017, but I should begin thinking about what my ‘big girl’ house looks like, and more importantly… where that is going to be.
You see, Rashia’s 2016 AWESOME Summer of FUN! was just the beginning. My summer 2016 was actually… AWESOME… because that was my intention. It was also just the start of me rediscovering who I am and what I am capable of, raised in these Newark streets (ok… I wasn’t really in the streets) I know that I’m tough enough to handle anything. And that I will do.
So, as we move into 2017, I would like to wish everyone well this holiday season and all the best in 2017 and beyond. Huge things are happening… but nobody is going to give us anything. It’s up to all of us to get out here and get (live) the life we want. The only thing stopping us is us… don’t be your own barricade… cause ain’t nobody got time for that…
Happy Christmas and Merry New Year to ALL!!!